cover image Mister Gumbo: Down and Dirty with Black Men on Life, Sex, and Relationships

Mister Gumbo: Down and Dirty with Black Men on Life, Sex, and Relationships

Ursula Inga Kindred, Mirranda Guerin-Williams. St. Martin's Griffin, $16.99 (338pp) ISBN 978-0-312-32681-4

In Sister Gumbo, black women spoke honestly about black men. Now the men get their turn in Kindred and Guerin-Williams's new collection of frank comments. And frank they are: sometimes coarse (one man talks about a ""trifling-ass"" woman's ""good pussy""), more often respectful (indeed, Ken is almost awed by one woman who ""didn't fall for me like every other woman did""). The men range in age from 20s to early 40s; they are single, married, divorced; and they have a wide range of opinions and experiences. But one message that comes through clearly is that the men aren't in a hurry to fall in love and commit to a relationship, and they're turned off by a woman who asks, after one or two months of dating, where the relationship is going and whether the man loves her. A lot of these men seem to have a lot of women running after them (even Dante, who's married).But they say sex is not the most important part of a relationship, and sexual fidelity counts: one says, ""If the woman is doing her best to please her man, then it's easy for him not to cheat."" Women who want to know what men will never tell them directly will learn a lot from this sometimes startlingly honest book.