A Silent Sorrow

Nothing can erase the sense of loss when a pregnancy doesn't come to fruition, but this book may provide some measure of comfort and hope (as well as a good bit of guidance) for those who have lost a wanted child (or ended a pregnancy because the fetus was impaired). Kohn and Moffitt know that no two grieving processes are quite alike, but certain patterns do show up often, and always there are both medical and emotional matters to attend to. Their first section is devoted to the grief after such a loss, covering the emotional stages that the mother and father go through, as well as grief's impact on their relationship during the crisis. The second section considers early losses due to miscarriage, ectopic or molar pregnancy, crisis pregnancies, stillborn and newborn deaths, and the terrible burden of choice--carry to term, or abort?--presented when the fetus is impaired. Finally, the third section prepares one for the reaction of others. A sensitive medical practitioner can make all the difference, and religion, too, can offer solace--the authors identify a pronounced need for formal death rituals to give the grief process a sense of closure. Even after their extensive experience with bereavement, the authors conclude that it is a long-term thing: ``Neither sorrow nor the children lost are ever truly forgotten.'' (Jan.)