cover image Wrestling with Love: How Men Struggle with Intimacy with Women, Child**

Wrestling with Love: How Men Struggle with Intimacy with Women, Child**

Samuel Osherson. Fawcett Books, $20 (371pp) ISBN 978-0-449-90550-0

Although men have long been accused of fearing deeply personal relationships, they may either be conflicted or in fact yearn for intimacy, stresses Osherson (Finding Our Fathers ), who argues that the seeming desire to avoid closeness can be traced to a man's ``separation'' from his mother during early childhood. To complete the process of individuation, a male perceives that he must forgo ``feminine'' behavior and emotions; to avoid shame resulting from these soft feelings, he must conscientiously shun situations that stimulate them. ``Wrestling'' with his children, for example, may be an occasion for a man to be physically close and affectionate without losing his masculinity. Case histories and eye-opening tales drawn from interviews and men's workshops illustrate negative ways men deal with their wives, children and friends, and advice is offered on how to ameliorate men's anxieties about expressing love and concern. A significant popular guide to male psychology. (Apr.)