Does Wednesday Mean Mom's House or Dad's?: Parenting Together While Living Apart

Clinical psychologist and child custody expert Ackerman presents a practical guide for divorcing parents, emphasizing that the well-being of the children involved is always more important than the concept of winning. When children are part of the picture, divorce doesn't mean the end of a couple's relationship. Instead, divorcing couples must establish new ground rules in order to remain good parents even while living apart. In advising divorcing parents on how to get along, Ackerman explains how to create a flexible visitation schedule that allows children a sense of home and permanence, suggests ways to tell the children about the divorce (preferably, together) and tells how parents can maintain communication without making a child feel like ""the monkey in the middle."" The author uses examples from his practice to bring his points to life (e.g., the child who decided where to spend the night based on which parent was serving French fries; the parents who ended up in a brawl at their daughter's parent-teacher conference). Ackerman's practical solutions call for parents' willingness to be cooperative and flexible (such as sharing rather than alternating holidays, or allowing a former spouse unscheduled time to attend a special event with the child). Sections on attorneys and legal matters are also included. This is a useful resource to help parents reason their way through the eventuality-or prospect-of divorce. (Nov.)