cover image Finally Getting It Right

Finally Getting It Right

Howard M. Halpern. Bantam Books, $22.95 (0pp) ISBN 978-0-553-09003-1

With a minimum of psychological jargon, psychotherapist Halpern ( Cutting Loose: An Adult Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents ) here proffers advice on how to break an addiction to the wrong person or end a pattern of involvement with unsatisfying partners. According to the author, people are ``destined'' to repeat unhealthy relationships because of childhood experiences with parents or other significant adults, or because they are trying to fill a void. For example, a woman may be obsessed with an ungiving man because she's still trying to win the love of a cold father. Or a man may be attracted to undependable, emotional women because they provide the excitement he feels is lacking in his life. By getting to the root of the unhealthy attraction, we can say good-bye to hurtful relating patterns and open the door to loving, mature relationships. The final chapter consists of questions and answers about love from Halpern's syndicated newspaper column, ``On Your Own.'' Case histories and black-and-white cartoons add a human (and humorous) dimension. This compassionate and witty book should encourage readers stuck in unfulfilling relationships to do better for themselves. (May)