cover image PARENTS UNDER SIEGE: Why You Are the Solution, Not the Problem, in Your Child's Life

PARENTS UNDER SIEGE: Why You Are the Solution, Not the Problem, in Your Child's Life

James Garbarino, . . Free Press, $24 (246pp) ISBN 978-0-7432-0134-6

Stories about violence perpetrated by children and adolescents make the front pages with disturbing regularity. What is less well known is that 10 percent of young people who commit homicides come from sound homes with functioning families. Garbarino and Bedard (coauthors, Lost Boys) probe the so-called "impossible" children—those who go awry despite loving, supportive parents—ranging from those who make daily life difficult to those who tragically commit murder. The authors combine research and interviews (including interviews with the parents of Dylan Klebold, the Columbine school shooter—perhaps the most famous and tragic example of a "difficult" child from a stable home) with statistical analysis to present a startling picture of the changing culture of parenting in America. They offer the consolation that parents are not to blame when things go wrong, and provide some advice on how to intervene early enough to make a difference. Reaching no easy answers, the authors show how the interplay of personal temperament, family involvement and social pressures can create a recipe for children to become unhinged, secretive, disengaged and possibly violent. Though repetitive, dense and hard to follow at points, this book offers a sound theoretical starting point for parents grappling with a difficult child. It also lists many helpful resources, Web sites and groups, along with suggested further reading.