American Thighs: The Sweet Potato Queens' Guide to Preserving Your Assets

Having previously written books on finding a man, planning a wedding, raising kids and coming through a divorce, Browne's latest offers hilarious tips on enjoying “our inexorable trudge into Geezerdom.” Browne is already checking off the days until November 23, 2012, when she turns 60 and can move into a retirement home; at 80, she plans to start smoking again. Looking back at her youthful follies (like slathering on baby oil for all-day tanning sessions), she warns, “Karma is listening and she has ears like a bat.” She and her sister have a pact to “Get the Pillow” (smother the other in her sleep) when “the time comes.” In Browne's case, that will be “if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy.” While exhorting the pleasures of giving in to comfortable sandals and roomy underwear, Browne, in her best book yet, offers laugh-out-loud, slightly off-topic digressions (she passionately defends the term “brick shithouse” and rebukes tummy-control swimsuits). (Jan.)