Never Trust a Man in Alligator Loafers: What His Shoes Really Say about His True Love Potential

Though it uses every shoe pun in the English language (""thought clogs,"" ""the sole truth""), it's quickly apparent that this gimmicky relationship guide is no light-hearted spoof, but a serious approach to finding a man. Unfortunately, ""soleology"" is about as substantive as a flip-flop. Still, Sozio's main text is funny, if not exactly fair, as she breaks the male population into a series of archetypes: for example, a classic ""noncommunicator"" can be spotted by his ""Ubiquitous White Sneaker."" It's not quite that simple, however: the shoes point to a particular continuum, but the man's attitude toward them places him on it; for instance, a Tevas-wearing man falls on the ""Authority"" continuum somewhere between the compliant ""Yes, Sir!"" type and the ""Rebel,"" depending on whether his message is ""I'm a river guide"" or ""I am the river."" Though the author hits some practical high notes while identifying ""red flag shoes"" (""unraveling"" shoes are the worst: ""where else is he coming undone?""), some absurd counsel (pretending to drop something so ""you can conveniently check out his shoes""), goofy lists (""Ten Reasons why Shoes are Better than Men"") and other filler will try readers' patience.