cover image After You Say Goodbye: When Someone You Love Dies of AIDS

After You Say Goodbye: When Someone You Love Dies of AIDS

Paul Kent Froman. Chronicle Books, $14.95 (288pp) ISBN 978-0-8118-0088-4

Los Angeles psychotherapist Froman ( Pathways to Wellness: Strategies for Self-Empowerment in the Age of AIDS ) emphasizes that while the loss of a loved one will always hurt, those mourning the death of a person from AIDS may have special problems. In this sensitive and sensible look at grieving, he describes more than the various stages of grief, focusing on issues that gay people may encounter, including family rejection. He offers concrete solutions for the fear, anger and discrimination often accompanying the death of a family member, friend or lover from AIDS. Too frequently, these grief-stricken people fail to receive adequate help. As with all deaths, he adds, the mourners need to ``grieve well.'' Grieving well is an ongoing process, he notes, not one clearly or easily concluded. He recommends confronting emotion and the impact of death on everyday life--then advises getting involved in the fight against AIDS. Using himself as a model, Froman says he does not want not to feel sad when remembering someone he loved who has died, but neither does he want the sadness to control his life. This is a book that will comfort a growing population of people who already have--or will need to--come to terms with the AIDS death of someone they cared for. (May)