Coming Around: Parenting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Kids

“Mom, Dad... I’m gay.” Some parents are prepared to hear this affirmation, but others may feel shock, anger, and disappointment. Even in our enlightened era, adolescents and young adults coming out to parents as gay, lesbian, bi, trans, or “gender fluid” need even more real understanding, acceptance, love, and guidance than their straight peers. This book, written by a lesbian family psychologist who specializes in helping straight parents and gay children understand one another and cope with social and emotional issues, addresses generational and religious biases, from parents’ first reaction, through a step-by-step learning curve, on the path toward a healthy, positive, and supportive ongoing family relationship. Dr. Dohrenwend comprehends parents’ fears in the face of bigotry and social prejudice, tells them what to say and more importantly, what not to say, and suggests how to deal with homophobia (both their own and others’), instructing how best to instill resiliency in their kids and communicate the vital message that no matter what, they will never withhold their love, regardless of personal sexual orientation. With neither political agenda nor explanation of sexual behavior, the five sections of this book share family stories—examples and anecdotes with which to identify—and ask and answer a range of difficult questions parents have about cruelty and stereotypes, religion, whether sexual orientation can be changed, stages of coming out, health risks, retaining family values, marriage equality and becoming in-laws and grandparents, and how kids can conduct a “Positively Gay” life. (Oct.)