Happy Together: Creating a lifetime of Connection, Commitment, and Intimacy


Good communication may be the key to a lasting, loving marriage, but not just any communication. In his first book Cloke argues that real talk based in real life—not myth or fantasy—is missing, and discovering how to achieve this level of communication can reverse the course of a failing marriage. The author, a popular psychotherapist, urges couples to examine both practical priorities and values and whatever they may be idealizing, be that money, sex, or a different definition of success. Couples need to look at behavior and communication patterns from their childhoods, Cloke argues, offering a practical guide and dozens of questions to foster dialogue and reflection. The goal is to end the cycle of hurtful communication by exposing—and learning from—the emotionally-wounded, angry child behind the adult self, and hallmarks of effective communication (criticism vs. constructive complaint, for example) are delineated. While Cloke’s ideas about what makes a marriage work are far from revolutionary, he goes beyond common sense, and his case studies put complex marital problems—and solutions—on display. This is a thorough treatment plan for the troubled marriage; in the absence of couples’ therapy, or in conjunction with it, it will prove helpful. (Feb.)