Silent Bob Speaks: The Collected Writings of Kevin Smith

If you're not an admirer of Kevin Smith (the writer and director of Clerks, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Mallrats, etc.), it's unlikely that this book will turn you into one. Consisting of essays originally published in the British magazine Arena, the book presupposes an intense interest in, among other things, production minutiae surrounding the films Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl, Ben Affleck, Star Wars, comic books and Smith's bowel movements. Yes, Smith's bowel movements. While bodily function humor has been done well by other humorists (Monty Python, anyone?), in Smith's hands, it is nothing short of revolting. Who wants to know the ""oily and fatty"" effects that Smith's obesity pills have on his stool? Those who do might be interested in the author's musings on such topics as sex with his wife (""one hot-lit piece of ass who was giving me a boner like you wouldn't believe"") or his preteen habits (he ""used to get off on pissing in a cup""). To be fair, Smith peppers his writing with self-deprecating comments, and he divulges a few good gossipy tidbits, such as when he meets Reese Witherspoon and declares that she comes off as ""faux-erudite as all hell, and condescending to boot."" And when Smith isn't discussing bowel movements, sex or people he dislikes, he almost seems personable. (His description of his highly anticipated meeting with David Duchovny, ""a really funny and well-versed guy who I instantly love,"" is almost warm). For some readers, however, such moments will not justify wading through these repetitive and self-indulgent ramblings.