Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person

Though the term ""smart love"" seems strangely incongruous, some parents may find the theory attractive, especially those who have been unsuccessful or uncomfortable with such popular parenting methods as using negative consequences, rewards or time-out periods. The Piepers (she is a psychotherapist, he is a psychiatrist) focus on the parent's understanding of the child's developmental stage and instruct the parent to react to the child's behavior in a manner that is ""compassionate rather than coercive."" Punishments and rewards are both unadvised. Though the smart love ""guidelines"" referred to throughout the text never crystallize in a complete list, the main premise involves preserving the child's ""inner happiness"" by using ""loving regulation"" (reacting to the child without making her or him feel unhappy or rejected). The Piepers disagree with such practices as letting a baby ""cry it out"" and claim that time-outs cause kids to feel angry and self-rejecting. Oddly, however, they suggest weaning the baby at 11 months, rather than letting the child take the lead. While many parents may find the Piepers' advice a bit too demanding of their attention and patience, others may happily grasp the advice to ""go the extra mile"" for their child. 50,000 print run; $75,000 ad/promo; 14-city author tour. (Apr.)