Elvira: Transylvania 90210

What can you say about a book narrated by Elvira that pits the Mistress of the Midnight B Movies, along with handsome Luke Berry and other teens at Beaver Hills High, against Luke's girlfriend turned bloodsucker, Shannon Doheny, and her malevolent mentor, Sevil Alucard (get it? Unfortunately, the Beaver Hills brain trust doesn't until the last pages). It's certainly camp, the kind of unassuming guilty pleasure that combines R.L. Stine, a Fabio novel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and wax teeth. As one would expect of Elvira, the jokes are groaners and she does do the vamp bit for all it's worth. Still, the spoofing of the preternaturally stupid 90210-ers can be funny. This first in a projected series is mindless entertainment for the psychotronics crowd, but no worse. (Nov.)