cover image *How to Die in Paris: A Memoir

*How to Die in Paris: A Memoir

Naturi Thomas. Seal, $17 trade paper (256p) ISBN 978-1-58005-364-8

This haunting and heartbreaking memoir tells the story of Thomas's 2004 move from New York City to Europe, where she decided to kill herself. "[T]he only thing left for me in this life," she writes, "was to see Paris once, before I died." Broke, homeless, and jobless, Thomas wanders the Parisian streets for nearly three weeks, suicidal but unable to commit the act. She asks poetically, "How do you say, 'Help me?' in French? How do you say it in English?" Interspersed with her Parisian wanderings, Thomas recalls her childhood in Newark, N.J., where she grew up with an abusive mother whom she clearly despises, but feels sympathetic toward: "I know I should hate her%E2%80%A6But I also can't help but wonder. What happened to her?" Still, she fondly remembers the good times with her family and refrains from vilifying her mother. Near the end, she writes of a recurring dream in which she travels back in time and whisks her four-year-old self out of Newark and away to Paris before she can suffer the forthcoming abuse. She advises her child self, "that's what Mom wanted: to make you as crazy as she was. If you commit suicide, you'll be letting the terrorist win." This is a phenomenal and courageous debut by a talented young writer. (Dec.)