A Marriage Made in Heaven: A Love Story in Letters

What could a 35-year-old single Indian woman from a Hindu Brahmin family have in common with a 40-year-old divorced American Jewish man? A good deal, judging from this collection of very romantic and idealistic courtship letters written between two such individuals before their elaborate Indian wedding ceremony in 1996. Yearning for a domestic environment in which he would clearly be the head of a family, Ehud, owner and publisher of the Inner Traditions book company in rural Vermont, placed an ad for a wife in an Indian newspaper. One of the responses to his inquiry was from Vatsala, a clinical microbiologist who desired to trade in her independence for what she believed would be a more fulfilling life as a married woman. The letters the two exchanged show that they viewed male and female roles in marriage as distinct and complementary, with the male taking the leadership role in decision making and responsibility for earning the couple's living and the female deferring to her husband's wishes, finding contentment as a full-time housekeeper. Ehud, who was familiar with and had an obvious affinity for Indian culture, did not expect his future wife to give up her religion and, in fact, pointed out many similarities between Hinduism and Judaism. Those who long for the traditional family of yesteryear will enjoy the Sperlings' multicultural love story; feminists (of both sexes) willl want to steer steer clear. (Feb.)