cover image FRIENDS: Why Men and Women Are from the Same Planet

FRIENDS: Why Men and Women Are from the Same Planet

Lisa Gee, . . Bloomsbury, $14.95 (256pp) ISBN 978-1-58234-185-9

Men and women have more in common than popular culture would have us believe, argues freelance writer Gee in this entertaining look at cross-gender platonic relationships. And while general wisdom holds that sex almost always complicates such relations, "a soul-mate doesn't have to be a sex-mate." Citing popular studies in psychology, sociology and linguistics, as well as literature, folklore and her own interviews with pairs of friends, Gee shows that women and men can care deeply about each other without being in love or suppressing sexual desire. She argues, for example, that William Wordsworth's intense bond with his sister Dorothy—often described today as an example of repressed incest—demonstrates a type of innocent devotion with which his era was entirely comfortable. Though there's room for doubt in Wordsworth's case, Gee makes the strong point that current beliefs can distort our understanding of how women and men got along in other times and places. Keeping a light touch throughout, she looks at the complexities of the friendship bond and the ways in which gender differences can enrich and complement platonic relationships. At a time when family structures are changing rapidly, Gee concludes, male-female friendships may well offer the freedom and stability that other bonds—including marriage—sometimes fail to provide. Agent, Louise Greenberg. (Sept. 20)