cover image Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey

Kick the Balls: An Offensive Suburban Odyssey

Alan Black. Hudson Street Press, $23.95 (255pp) ISBN 978-1-59463-047-7

Black's sardonic view of suburban America and his propensity for saying the wrong thing to the wrong people may remind some of a Scottish Larry David, but this San Francisco writer and pub manager possesses a distinct voice and an aggressive passion for soccer: ""Earth wasn't pigskin shaped, all the skeptics had to do was look at the heavens and see what God's game was... the perfect immaculate conception of our fertile earth was the soccer ball, soft and hard at the same time, delightfully floated, spinning with atmosphere and promise."" Black ties in memories of childhood fandom in Glasgow with tales of coaching the eight-year-old Dragons, his son among them, managing bar and watching late night TV with his ice cream, Ben and Jerry (""I grabbed Ben and Jerry and marched them to the sofa""). Merrily skewering every target in sight (especially soccer moms: ""The field was a big womb and their babies were in there kicking""), Black includes lots of fantasy, funny nicknames and fake articles from an imaginary newsletter, ""The Sporting Green."" Any suburbanite with kids in organized sports will find Black a riot, provided they aren't easily offended; readers may actually learn some new swear words.