The Real Lives of Strong Black Women: Transcending Myths, Reclaiming Joy

Near the beginning of this thoughtful, sensitive self-help book, Thompkins tells the story of how his mother, a ""Strong Black Woman"" and hardworking nurse, eventually found happiness after suffering a mild heart attack. ""She discovered true inner peace for the first time,"" he writes. ""Watching Mom reach this level of self-acceptance, self-caretaking, self-love and self-forgiveness was the greatest gift she could have given me."" Now the life coach and professional speaker aims to help other Strong Black Women find that sort of peace. His approach is refreshingly nuanced: rather than lay out seven golden rules for Strong Black Women to follow, he offers probing questions, practical suggestions and dozens of first hand accounts from the women themselves and from the men whose lives they've influenced (sons, husbands, lovers, friends). Thus, his book functions as a starting point for deeper dialog and understanding. Chapters on mother-daughter relationships, dating, keeping the faith, creating a meaningful livelihood, healing from loss and reclaiming joy are arranged to cover all the permutations of self, platonic and romantic love. And Thompkins clearly has gone out of his way to include a variety of viewpoints, including those of people involved in interracial or gay or lesbian relationships. ""By the sole virtues of my race and gender I was supposed to be the consummate professional, handle my life crisis, be the dependable rock for every soul who needed me, and, yes--the classic--require less from my lovers than they did from me,"" one woman explains. Thompkins shows women how to find a way out of that bind without losing their independence or themselves.