Tales of a Waiter

In Service Included, Phoebe Damrosch tells of being a waiter at New York City’s high-end restaurant Per Se.

What prompted you to write this book about your experience at Per Se?

I never thought I would be writing a book about waiting tables. I was getting an M.F.A. at Sarah Lawrence when I got a job there—it was so demanding, 70 hours a week. I was writing a lot about my life at the same time, creative nonfiction about food and waiting tables. Any waiter can relate to that, but Per Se is a very different kind of restaurant. The training is so intensive—it’s like being paid to go to culinary school. We had an 18th-century dance specialist teach us how to move in the dining room. It was an exciting idea and the more I wrote about it, the more I realized that I could go on and on writing about the restaurant. At a Barnard College writer’s conference, I heard the agent Molly Friedrich speak—she was so powerful I thought: I want this woman on my side! She passed my idea to [agent] Paul Cirone, and by the end of [my] conversation [with him,] he had sold me on writing the book.

And how about reactions from the people you write about at Per Se? Are you anticipating any backlash?

I feel cautious right now. I hope they’ll see it’s a love letter to the restaurant.

You write about being the only female captain in a very male industry. Why do you think there are not more women in these positions?

Fine dining is really male dominated. Part of it is about wine—men act more interested, maybe. Also European managers tend to hire men. I think it’s changing now. At Per Se, there are a few more women runners and back servers than there used to be.

Do you think you’ll be able to dine there again?

I don’t think I can afford it!

Is your next book about food?

I can’t imagine any writing endeavor not involving food, because it’s such a big part of my life. We cook a lot, Andre [her wine steward boyfriend who figures in the book] and I, we spend a lot of time in restaurants. I come from a foodie family. I used to be a nanny until I started waiting tables: at least putting a muffin on a plate is more tangible.