Rick Simonson

A Little Misty Around the Edges 1
September 16, 2007

Since writing these little entries has become somewhat built into the pattern of a week, there has also come the pattern of when and how. Now, it seems, the night before I would waken and see what could be made of the ingredients on hand, last thoughts go to what the piece might be (forget book reading). So it was this past Thursday night.

Then something jarring happened. I'm still not sure if it could have come from a dream or an early, early call: the phone rang and suddenly I was hearing the voice of someone I knew, someone from the publishing world. I couldn't quite place it - was it one of our reps? Someone in New York? Whoever it was, it was very odd, as the voice was one I would usually know to be friendly. And here it was almost ominous, threatening in tone, so much so that recognition was eluding me. Not that I was that awake.

'We know what you're planning to write about today in that verbose business they let you inflict on people,' this voice started saying, 'and we think you should know you're stepping over a line you shouldn't be stepping over.' What was this? How would anyone else know what I was planning to write? I hadn't known until shut eyes bid me on to sleep ... and I certainly hadn't said peep to anyone. 'You know,' the voice continued,' 'We really are serious about the embargo and the possible pre-release release of information from this book we're publishing. So there is concern here ... that you might, in writing about the very idea of some of these embargoes, reveal information that should not yet be released.'

Now a little was coming to me, although I had no idea which of several embargoed titles this person might be talking about. Receiving in the bookstore of late, but especially this last week, was a veritable minefield (never mind that a new Oprah title was announced, requiring the requisite affadavit of non-disclosure to be signed and faxed in). This shipment's boxes had big labels marked, 'Don't Open Until ...' This other shipment, no markings on the box you might open, only then you'd see paperwork saying, 'Not Until ...'. Then those confusing boxes which allude to parts of the contents within a box - perhaps one title, perhaps two or three, were all subject to strict on-sale dates, the others, presumably, sadly, less wanted ... just any old time.

Then toss in the real hand-grenade of books that show up semi-unbidden from wholesalers. Like many stores' computer systems, ours is one where you put a special order for a title not yet received into the system, and it will go find an available copy, never mind that there are a few highrises' worth of boxes with that title in them, in hollering distance, waiting to be received on the proper day. The order default goes to wholesaler A or B or C, whomever first says they have it, and voila, you have special orders being received and about to be called. I personally caught one of these suckers last week, a whole week before the on-sale date. Annoying as this is, it does seem to be a barometer as to which of these embargoed titles will have real sustaining interest. The one I helped catch is one such. Meanwhile, I thought I was beginning to know which title this caller was referring to. More pre-publication murk was surrounding it than most of these others. Word had it that sales reps, if this was the right house, were out beyond the usual 'field' - checking all manner of retail outlets (though I wondered about bars brokers tend to frequent), making sure nothing was being offered before it should. No one had placed an early special order for this one, with us, anyway.

'Furthermore,' the voice on the line had resumed,  'we know you're planning to write about this subject matter ... how shall we say .... somewhat in jest? You should know that this also is a punishable offense.'

'Punishable?'

'You can't joke about certain matters in airports. You now also can't joke about certain matters with respect to embargoed titles. Again, to joke about something you shouldn't know about is a sign you have violated the terms of the embargo, the terms under which we would let you sell what we might when it is time. We could cut all your business with us off.'

'When did this become a punishable offense like this? And why shouldn't I know about this subject matter? Won't that ultimately help the book to sell?'

'You know the times we're in, somewhat perilous ones. National security here, publisher security there - that's your first question. Second, you should know that when it comes to putting books like this out, we are relying on the principle of Immaculate Perception. We've been trying to apply it even to parts of this conversation.'

'Immaculate Perception? I've never heard of that. There's another 'immaculate' term  ... which I can somewhat relate to in a metaphysical, maybe mythological way ... though I know for many, perhaps many more, it is something believed in quite literally.'

'Think about it.'

'I'm trying to. ... it's already kind of rampant in the society as a whole, isn't it? Things, if I'm surmising correctly, getting so removed from contexts and continuities, you can pretend they are wholly, newly sprung, no history, no mystery?'

'Think present federal government once again. Think ... a certain war, why many think we're there ..'

'But doesn't this only really work with certain things? This book you're probably talking about - you're wanting to sell - no, you're probably needing to sell a lot of copies of it, right? Is it something that thirteen-year-olds are going to buy? Even people who might admit to once having been thirteen?  Are there movies, even movie rights,  yet? Do you think that many people, beyond a very visible but finite group are going to know who this author is and what the author's story is? I mean, I don't want to get into any hotter water than I already am, but in this day and age, you mention this author's particulars, you include the description I've seen at times of his having been a "wizard" when it comes to certain aspects of a lifeforce that does affect us - one having to do with whether we'll have jobs or not, what kind of jobs, what kinds of housing, how prices will go, who the money gets sucked from, and who it gets surged to - say something like that and then won't there be these basic, cosmetic questions about this wizard and what color his wings are, what their span is, whether he's on the side of good or evil, and which Harry Potter novel he might be featured in?'

'...'

There was a click. It was over. Dream or phone call, one of the two.

Posted by Rick Simonson on September 16, 2007 | Comments (0)