Marc Schultz

Ask a Real Ultimate Ninja
April 19, 2007

As I'm sure you've all heard, Crown just inked the very first video-blog-to-book deal with YouTube Video Award winners Douglas Sarine and Kent Nichols, creators of internet sweetheart Ask A Ninja, which wows the kids with goofy ninja humor in high-tech moving-picture style. Their book will be called The Ninja Handbook: A Guide for Non-Ninjas to Become More Ninja-like. Apparently, this title is meant to be ironic.

If you, like me, are sick of Sarine and Nichols's mockery, check out tragically overlooked internet ninja Robert Hamburger at Real Ultimate Power, "The Official Ninja Homepage." A true ninja aficionado, Hamburger couldn't be more serious about the study of the ninja arts: "My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninjas. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet."

On his site, you'll find the real guide to becoming "more ninja-like." Hamburger covers the basics:

1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

Hamburger covers the history:

Year 0: 3 wise ninjas bring baby Jesus ninja stars, a guitar, and a hot babe.

Hamburger covers the philosophy:

Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.

And on top of that, he already received--more than two years ago!--the highest honor with which an internet sensation can be awarded: a book deal. So unlike the teases at Ask A Ninja, Hamburger's book is available right now. So pick up REAL Ultimate Power: The Official Ninja Book by Robert Hamburger (with contributions from his mother), and soon those snarky Ask A Ninja clowns will be asking YOU. For MERCY.

Posted by Marc Schultz on April 19, 2007 | Comments (0)