Marc Schultz

Ride On, Good Sir Knight
May 8, 2007

Shrinking book coverage in our nations' newspapers and magazines may not effect you -- but think about the celebs.

Click above to watch Hasselhoff's shame

Where will they go to plug the important new books they've had ghostwritten for them? I know that from the outside it may seem like a fair, just meritocracy, but the reality is that showbiz isn't a level playing field. And that leaves less-advantaged celebs like, say, David Hasselhoff with just one way to get the word out: public humiliation.

So, as a service to this less-than-beloved celeb and the public upon whom he's inflicted his drunken-clown act, I'd like to present this stirring passage from his autobiography, Don't Hassel the Hoff, out this month from Thomas Dunne.

The scene: after escaping Betty Ford in a desperate search for a Marriott with a minibar, Hasselhoff has been rescued and returned to rehab, where he immediately sets to busting out again. The first step? Securing a new driver's license:

A female voice answered, mid-forties, motherly.
"Hi, this is David Hasselhoff. I'm over here in Palm Springs on vacation."
"Hi -- oh my God! I know who you are."
"Look, I lost my driver's license and need to get another one real quick."
"No problem, Mr. Hasselhoff, we'll take care of it right away. Just so you know -- I want to tell you my son looks just like you."
"You're kidding me!"
"No, people used to stop him all the time and say, 'Are you David Hasselhoff?'"
"Oh my God, I'm so flattered. What's his name? Can I send him an autographed picture because you've been so nice?"
"Aw, no -- he died, Mr. Hasselhoff. He was killed by a drunk driver."
I dropped the receiver and began sobbing.

Pre-order your copy today.

Posted by Marc Schultz on May 8, 2007 | Comments (2)