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The Gift of ListeningDecember 23, 2008 Yesterday my boys lost their grandfather (their father's father). For my youngest (26), it is his first experience with death on such a close personal level (my son's are 10 years apart). It was a very emotional day filled with a lot of questions and not too many answers. I tried to explain what came next, the funeral plans, the timing because of the Christmas holiday. Death isn't an easy thing for any of us and it seems to be especially profound around any holiday. We talked about the happy times and memories he had of his grandpa. I spoke on the phone with my ex-husband to offer my condolences and even though we haven't talked in many years, the time seemed to melt away as caught up on old friends and relatives on both sides of the family. Unfortunately, most of the stories were sad. Lots of disease, despair and death. How did all our young carefree friends become victims of Parkinson's, MS, and cancer? In the past few months my sister lost her husband to pancreatic cancer, another sister lost her brother in law to cancer and her husband's uncle also passed away. We mourned three of my dad's cousins in a two month period. I'm saddened reading blogs of other's coping with the losses of their loved ones and their own battles with disease.  While it should be done all throughout the year, this holiday season is the best time to reach out to those who are in pain and suffering from a multitude of problems. It doesn't cost any money to call a friend to just say hi. To stop by and offer a helping hand. To smile at a stranger. To hold a door open for someone struggling with kids and packages. To say a few kind words without having a reason to. To just be there for someone to listen. Listening is very underrated and one of the best gifts you can give to someone. Slow down for a few minutes and count your blessing and while you're at it, add to someone else's. Bottom Line: "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a live around." ~ Leo F. Buscaglia Posted by Barbara Vey on December 23, 2008 | Comments (14)
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Keena Kincaid commented: Barbara,
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Amanda commented: It's easy to get caught up in the craziness of shopping and decorating and baking, but taking a break to spend with someone who could use a kind word or some help is the real spirit of Christmas. I'm off to make some calls. Merry Christmas!
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Cynthia Eden commented: Barbara, I'm sorry to hear of this loss--and, yes, I think things like this always hit harder at the holidays. A time of joy can turn to sadness so easily.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Kimberly, AKA Problem Child commented: As someone who's dealing with this same situation I can say, funerals at Christmas stink. At the same time, it does make you think about what's really important this time of year. Hugs to your boys.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Monica Burns commented: Barb, My sympathies to your grandsons. I understand all too well the loss of someone dear at the holidays. My mother died ten years ago this past Friday after a long battle with Leukemia. Christmas has never been quite the same without her and my father who died 20 yrs ago close to the holidays too. My heart goes out to them.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Jenne commented: Thank you for writing this - it really hit home.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Joel commented: When we look in the eyes of a newborn, inevitably we ask ourselves what kind of person he or she will be? Will he be an artist? Will she be the first woman president? Will happiness and loved ones be there to support this tiny miracle as he or she faces the challenges of fulfilling that promise? There are no guarantees in life, no bargains we can make, no shelters we can build that can truly secure us from tomorrow. Each day we are given though to see our loved ones grow towards achieving what they are meant to be, each way that we are given to aid in that growth... that is the fulfillment of ourselves and our legacy to our families. My grandfather died three months before I graduated from college. He lived to see the child I was become the man I am today
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Joel commented: (cont'd)... a man I hope he is proud of. Your father-in-law, your children's grandfather lived to see his loved ones fulfill their own promises. Through them his life was enriched and he goes to his rest knowing that he did his part to make the world a better place. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family and my wishes that the pain of his passing are soon replaced by all the joyful memories of the lives you shared together.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Edie Ramer commented: Barbara, hugs to your son and to you. This hits home for me, too. After reading this, I'm calling my aunt. It's been too long since we talked.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Kat B commented: First off, your "youngest" is 26?!? What, did you have him at like 15? Gosh, sweets, you look great! Second, I am so sorry for your loss. And finally, yeah, I totally agree that we should change things up and be kind and considerate to each other. Happy Holidays. To you and yours.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening RevDeb commented: Amen! Blessings of peace, forgiveness, compassion,tender mercy to others in the deep gift of this season now and always.
December 23, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening mary ann rodman commented: Barbara,
December 24, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Barbara Vey commented: Mary Ann, I'm so sorry for your losses. You are so right about letting people know all the time about how you feel about them. <br><br>And my thanks to all who commented, this is a difficult subject, but know that people care, even if they don't always verbalize it.
December 24, 2008
In response to: The Gift of Listening Marilyn AKA Playground Monitor commented: I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Death anytime is awful, but at the holidays, it truly sucks. My father died on January 1, 1970 and it was a long time before I could think of January 1st as a new beginning instead of a tragic end. Time does heal all wounds. And yes, we should never take our loved ones for granted and should always let them know we love them.
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