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The Minion Diaries
October 18, 2007




While perusing the internet one day,  I came upon The Minion Diaries who's tag line is "A professional temp-henchman discusses life, love and doing the bidding of evil masterminds"  (written by the talented Michael McGovern). The premise is a down on his luck everyday guy who, for lack of a regular full-time job, takes temporary positions with really bad guys.  He's worked for the Riddler and the creep from Lethal Weapon.






But my favorite is second installment that has our not so Alpha hero working for Dr. No (of James Bond fame).  Of course, not wanting to give anything away, he refers to the good doctor as Dr. N.  This hilarious blog...I mean  "diary," recounts 007's adventure as seen through the eyes of the hapless henchman.  (After reading this diary, let me know if I'm the only one who never heard of the "in bed" reference because my son had to explain it to me...but then I thought it was pretty funny.  Apparently, you read a fortune cookie's message and add "in bed" at the end.  So, the message "You will live a long and prosperous life"  becomes "You will live a long and prosperous life...in bed."  )








So, then I got to thinking if there were any books with women as hench(wo)men.  Other than seeing movies as a kid like Queen of Outer Space with Zsa Zsa Gabor and flicks about Amazon women, I couldn't think of one book.  Can only men be henchmen?  I mean, I know there were some in the James Bond movies like the three who held James captive in Diamonds Are Forever, but I doubt they were in the book.  And minions usually don't talk...much.








Using the collective brains out there, has anyone come across a book like this?  Anyone written one?  Anyone now thinking of writing one?  What are your thoughts on henchwomen?  Or are women just too smart to bother with a go nowhere job?

Bottom Line:  Michael, hurry and get your guy a new temp job.  I'm (not so patiently) waiting for his next adventure...in bed (watch, you'll be adding this all day)  

New Alert!!  I just received an email from Michael and because of this blog, he has had his hopeless minion apply to work for an evil woman.  So get to The Minion Diaries and see what Michael has written just for us called Donatella.

Posted by Barbara Vey on October 18, 2007 | Comments (14)


October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
mary s commented:

Hi Barb--went to Publishers Weekly & saw Valerie Plame Wilson listed as the top story on PW's website--she is one of the 5 women in this year's "Smart Talk" women's series (along with Isabella Rossellini, Geralyn Lucas who wrote "Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy", Lisa Ling who was formerly on "The View" & Marlo Thomas!!). So I had to respond & hope my seats are still available ($112 for 5 speeches). Are you into art too? MIAD is having a "Good Knight/Open Canvas" night on 11/17. I'll keep you posted--I'm on their mailing list!




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
D commented:

There's "The Long Kiss Goodnight" by Randall Boyd. It was a movie with Gina Davis and Samuel L. Jackson. Samantha was an assassin for the govt.




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Brenda commented:

I loved these diaries. Those minions remind me of the Star Trek guys who wore the red shirts. They never had names and always died. Thanks Michael for the special villiness story for us.




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Amanda commented:

I would love to see John Cusack play this minion guy.




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Barbara Vey commented:

D, I've never read The Long Kiss Goodnight, but I did see the movie. Of course, I'll see anything with Samuel L. Jackson...even Snakes on a Plane (hilarious and I don't usually go for those kinds of movies)




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Michael McGovern commented:

One of my favorite female minions was from the James Bond movie "Goldeneye". Famke Jansson absolutely stole every scene as Xenia Zirgavna Onatopp (!). And also from Bond is Pussy Galore from Goldfinger. I'm also quite fond of Harley Quinn, the Joker's lovely lackey. I'm sure there are female minions that weren't super-hot, but I'm far too shallow to think of them. Amanda, John Cusack isn't a bad choice for the minion. I've always half-pictured him as a bit younger, though, in his twenties. And Cusack may be too intelligent-looking to play the thinking-challenged minion. Hmm, now I can't stop thinking about who would play him in a movie...




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Samatha Keller commented:

How about Justin Long? He's the guy from the Mac/PC commercials and was in the latest Die Hard movie.




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Rika commented:

LOL, the minion sounds hilarious. Maybe he could work for Austin Powers next. A movie for that might be painful to watch though. LOL.. :D Great blog, Barb. I'll have to check out this series. ~ Rika - Bookadesign.com




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
arnie commented:

Those minion guys always reminded me of worker bees. Interchangeable. I love the idea of getting into this guy's head. There's a guy on Survivor, Todd,22, who's a flight attendant and I think he'd be great as the minion.




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Kristen Painter commented:

Um, Barbara - when did you pose for that movie poster? You naughty minx, you! lol




October 18, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Barbara Vey commented:

Kristen, you found me out. I always wanted to be Zsa Zsa Gabor. She was just so exotic.




October 19, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Kimberly AKA The Problem Child commented:

Ahem, I think the proper term is "Henchperson."




October 21, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
mary s commented:

Thanks Barb for "The Minion Diaries" blog--would love to see more henchwomen in films, in books etc.




October 22, 2007
In response to: The Minion Diaries
Ember Case commented:

Fantastic link - what great entertainment!





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