Fortunately, Miss Manners knows better. Otherwise, she might suspect delegates to BookExpo America of having reason to believe that behavior at the convention may not be entirely decorous.

When Miss Manners inquired whether this noble event might entail some trivial misunderstandings about etiquette that she might clear up in advance, here is what she heard:

People are worried that everyone who has the chance will grab up all the free books being offered so there won't be any left for anyone else. People are worried that everyone will grab the books they are not offering for free.

People are worried about how many free books they can safely grab. People are worried about how much free food they can safely grab. People are worried about whether they have to accept the catalogues when they grab the freebies.

What is going on here? Are you folks having a convention, or a piñata-smashing?

One thing this is not is an etiquette challenge -- at least in the small matter of separating right from wrong. All Miss Manners has to do is to grab (whoops, too much of that going on; she means daintily take out) some very basic, standard etiquette. It consists of instructions that every adult is supposed to administer before letting go of the tiny hand of a toddler raring to be off to whoop it up at a birthday party.

"Yes, there will be treats, toys and sweets, and you're allowed to enjoy them. That's what they're there for. But just remember, they're not all for you. You should only take one of whatever you're offered, so there will be enough to go around. One portion -- did you hear me? -- not two, and not six.

"No, it d sn't help if you say you're taking one for your poor sick friend who wasn't able to get there. These things are not yours to re-distribute. You're only being offered one, not being asked to help give them out.

"Some things are not meant for you at all, so don't take what you're not offered. There will be lots of things you can play with while you're there, but that d sn't mean you can take them home. Don't even ask if you can, because you might embarrass people into giving you something they hadn't intended. These things belong to them and they are letting you enjoy them while you're there, but you shouldn't try to take advantage of their kindness.

"Now, you may also find that you are offered something you don't want. You don't have to take it if you don't want to, but don't just make a face and walk away. Say 'Thank you,' or 'No, thank you, not right now.'

"And please, above all, try to remember the point of going there in the first place. No, not to grab things. That might be part of the fun, but that's not why you're there. You're there to be with the other people, so try and be nice to them. Pay attention to them, talk to them, listen to them. Don't just stick with the people you already know. And remember to play fair, so that everyone gets a turn at everything."

Literary Temptation

Miss Manners realizes that the underlying question here is not how to behave in the face of what she will generously called literary temptation, so much as it is what to do about people who run around giving into it. Once again, however, there is precedent. And it comes from the same set of rules: "If you don't trust your guests, you pass the candy, instead of leaving it all out in a bowl and letting them help themselves."

Please remember, however, Miss Manners entered this melee suggesting that she knows better than to believe that the behavior at BookExpo America will fall below the highest standard of propriety. Yes, it is barely possible that literary fervor may overcome an individual whose better instincts will succumb to the overwhelming desire to possess a spare copy of a treasured work. Or yet another tote bag to carry it in. Or an extra share of refreshment to provide the strength to go on.

But Miss Manners knows these people. She has attended these events. She trusts them to behave like the cultured, restrained, charming ladies and gentlemen that they are.

Besides, she has new evidence of their graciousness. Amid the inquiries she received in connection with this year's convention were ones that had nothing to do with grabbiness -- neither how to protect oneself from it nor how best to indulge in it. More than one inquiry (two, to be exact) had to do with how best to please authors, at the convention and as an enticement to appear at bookstore events. What a very proper inquiry that is.

Miss Manners would like to offer reassurance that authors share the intense interest of everyone else at the convention in supplying the population with literature. They just don't always apply it as widely. One book at a time is what they recommend, and each of them has the very book to recommend.

Once convinced that they may be of significant help in this great cause, they are easily persuaded to do what they can. However, if you would like to be extraordinarily good to them, Miss Manners will tell you the words authors most like to hear. These are:

"We've ordered more of your books, but we just don't seem to be able to keep them around. People keep grabbing them, sometimes several copies at a time. I don't know what it is -- no matter how many we order, they're gone; people just can't keep their grabby hands off them."