To: John Q. Author, CEO, MegaCorp
From: N. Sider, senior v-p, Cheatham & Howell, Publishers
Re: Getting your book on the bestseller lists
Here's what you need to do to make your autobiography I, Me, Mine! a bestseller. No one told you that was your responsibility? Well, we're planning to print 100,000 copies, so consider this a reality check.
Your first step, buy the book at retail. When you signed the contract, you promised to buy 25,000 copies direct at $10 each or $250,000 total (coincidentally, the exact amount of your advance). But if you invest a little more and buy those copies at retail, it could get you on the lists. Yes, at $25 each, that could cost $625,000. But think of that extra $375,000 as a bet that you'll land in the top 15.
It's simple to do: the first week the book goes on sale, have your employees across the country buy those 25,000 copies at their local chain or independent bookstores (they can put it on their expense accounts). Buying so many books in such a short time should get you on some of the niche lists, such as Business Week's. It will also guarantee that the book will often be out of stock, driving up demand as reorders pile up.
Keep in mind that the better lists take pride in their formulas for determining what qualifies as a bestseller. They don't count bulk orders—which is why you want to buy one copy at a time—and they get suspicious if a bunch of orders come from only a few retailers during a short period of time.
So you have to make sure the books are selling in a lot of stores, specifically ones that report their sales to the major newspapers and magazines whose lists you want to appear on. We'll give you a list of which stores report to the Times. (Believe me, we know which ones they are).
The first part is easy, but how do you sustain those sales? Don't forget that the retail price will fall as the book's sales rise and earn that bestseller discount. So after investing that initial $625,000, you'll start getting even more for every dollar you spend to buy your book. For example, Amazon could start you off at $20 a copy—a 20% discount—and then lower the price to $17—32% off—and conceivably end up selling the book at 40% off, or $15, based on how many copies it sells and how quickly. The chains do the same thing. And if Wal-Mart takes the book, you're golden.
At those prices, you could spring for 35,000 copies or more—which means the book should stay in front-of-store displays that will help keep you on the bestseller lists.
We can also talk about other ideas if you want, such as having all of your employees and their friends post positive "reviews" on Amazon.com. We can even discuss getting on the lists by creating a book that gives readers what they want. But that's a lot harder.
