Cry, Baby: Why Our Tears Matter

Minister Perry investigates the human response to emotional and physical pain in this fascinating debut. Crying, the author suggests, “brings clarity, for through our tears we see what truly matters” and can help shape a better world. First, though, it needs to be better understood. Tears evolved partly as a means of communication, he writes, allowing infants to express basic needs and adults to seek help and soothe oneself. However, crying is generally socially frowned upon and tends to be seen as a sign of weakness or vulnerability, especially within masculine paradigms that curtail self-expression (to that end, Perry mentions pundits’ mockery of President Obama’s tears during his 2012 speech about the Sandy Hook shooting). And while many are made uncomfortable by witnessing someone cry, “those tears grant tacit permission to everyone else to cry as well.” Moreover, weeping with another person is an “opportunity to meet [them] where they are and discover common ground.” As well, crying produces a heightened state of emotion, rendering the brain more receptive to new information, which is necessary, Perry writes, to awaken an apathetic society to often overlooked or conveniently ignored problems. Perry’s survey is nuanced, and his vision of a more emotionally expressive society proves idealistic though not overly moralizing. Readers will find catharsis here. (May)