WHY CAN'T I FALL IN LOVE? Creating the Loving Connection You Need to Be Human

Shmuley Boteach, Author
Shmuley Boteach, Author WHY CAN'T I FALL IN LOVE? Creating the Loving Connectio $23 (292p) ISBN 978-0-06-039346-5
Reviewed on: 04/09/2001
Release date: 05/01/2001
Analog Audio Cassette - 978-0-694-52513-3
Hardcover - 303 pages - 978-0-340-78555-3
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After a long, preachy start—denouncing contemporary society with its high divorce rate and "commitment-phobic" singles, idealizing marriages of the past and articulating some gender stereotypes that may turn off some readers—the author of Kosher Sex ends up delivering a wealth of solid, specific and practical advice for the lonely. Refusing to accept protestations of contentment from singles, Rabbi Boteach insists that commitment to a loving relationship is fundamental to human well-being and happiness. He blames the widespread inability to find long-lasting love on consumer habits that have crept into current dating mores (e.g., waiting for the "best" person to marry), and spending too much time on love-substitutes (work, friends, sex, independence) that prevent love from entering the lives of men and women alike. With his usual sprinkling of religious references (Adam and Eve are used as relationship role models), Boteach encourages singles to acknowledge their loneliness and work on their own behaviors and choices instead of merely lamenting the lack of worthy mates or lauding the joys of the single life. He recommends "emotional nakedness" before the other kind, and a complete shift from "dating for sport" to dating for love and marriage. An enthusiastic advocate for marriage, although (or perhaps because) his own parents were unhappily married and ultimately divorced, Boteach firmly places responsibility for finding and maintaining love on the shoulders of each reader. (May)

Forecast:A lively and popular talk-show guest, Rabbi Boteach will make appearances on a 25-city radio campaign and a five-city author tour, though his target audience of singles may not be as likely to buy this type of dating/marriage book as they would a book on

Kosher Sex.

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