How to Find a Four-Leaf Clover: What Autism Can Teach Us About Difference, Connection, and Belonging

Rodgers, a relationship counselor on Netflix’s Love on the Spectrum, draws from 30 years’ worth of experience working with autistic individuals in her sensitive debut exploration of neurodivergence. Writing that “the skills of empathy are... tested by difference,” Rodgers sheds light on the behavior of people she’s encountered throughout her career, among them six-year-old Emily, who threw a fit when she discovered that her neighborhood grocery store layout had shifted (“rigid and repetitive thinking” makes it tough for people with autism to accept change), and Sebastien, an elementary schooler who struggled to participate in classroom activities that didn’t reference Spider-Man (an “incredible capacity to hyper-focus” on one topic “to the exclusion of everything else” is a classic autism trait). Elsewhere, Rodgers draws broader lessons about the nuances of human needs and behaviors—a discussion of how autistic people can struggle to understand reciprocity leads to her observation that “it’s about knowing each other’s needs... we can demonstrate reciprocity by giving to people, but they might support us by giving back in a completely different way.” Basing her conclusions on fine-grained observations of her clients, Rodgers illuminates the contours of the autistic brain and in the process makes a deeply felt case for the value of embracing others’ neurological particularities. It’s a persuasive testament to “the beauty in difference.” (Feb.)