How to Say It to Your Kids

Family therapist Coleman, author of The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples and other self-help titles, turns his attention to parenting issues with this potpourri of tips. Using the mnemonic TENDER (teach, emphasize, negotiate, dos & don'ts, encourage, and report), Coleman covers 100 topics, arranged alphabetically, starting with adoption and ending with ""worried child."" Each short chapter opens with an anecdote, followed by related factual information, a section on how to respond to your child on the subject, and a warning section on how not to respond. Some entries also contain boxed ""Smart Talk"" tips that cite current research. While some problems are specific (""estrangement from extended family"" or ""new step sibling"") others, such as ""dawdling,"" or ""self confidence"" will be useful to all parents. Coleman's approach is generally sound, but since each topic requires a unique response--even while incorporating one or more aspects of the TENDER motif--readers won't detect a set pattern to follow. And while parents will benefit from Coleman's advice to speak calmly and employ the TENDER elements, the A to Z format may give too much leeway for skipping topics, causing readers to come away from this reference manual without a firm grasp on the author's method. (Oct.)