Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Toxic People in Every Part of Your Life

Patrick, a deputy district attorney in San Diego, offers her expertise on the minds and methods of users and abusers, advising readers on how to avoid becoming a victim. She employs a simple mnemonic device for evaluating a person’s motivating interests, FLAG (Focus, Lifestyle, Associations, Goals), culling examples from her own cases. These include a charming serial rapist, a thieving manipulator of an elderly veteran, and a teenage sex trafficker who recruited other girls for her pimp. Patrick issues her most urgent warning about the “Dark Triad,” consisting of narcissists, Machiavellians, and psychopaths. She explains psychological traps to avoid, such as the “halo effect,” in which positive qualities are attributed to physically attractive people, and the “‘white-coat phenomenon” of blind adherence to perceived authority. Advice particularly useful for women includes pointers on evaluating online dating profiles for negative characteristics, looking for traits of the “Dark Triad” in possible one-night-stands, and paying attention to the too-often ignored warning signs of incipient domestic violence. Patrick’s profession has provided her access to a host of victims and offenders, while her shrewd analysis sheds light on the distinct patterns of abuse. Though much of this material is available elsewhere, her knowledge and the mnemonic shorthand provide a unique perspective. (May)