Stressilient: How to Beat Stress and Build Resilience

Readers can develop psychological flexibility by “turning toward, not away, from [their] emotions” during moments of stress, psychologist Akbar proposes in her smart debut. The human brain is wired to protect itself from danger at all costs, which is “great when [being] chased by tigers” and less helpful when handling modern threats or stresses, such as fears of public speaking or anxieties about a relationship crisis. But avoiding painful emotions is ultimately detrimental, according to Akbar, who draws a comparison to how forcing a beach ball underwater will cause it to shoot out again with astonishing force. Suggesting that readers can improve their relationship with their thoughts (“you can have a thought without buying into it”), Akbar offers strategies for “defusing” them, such as singing the thought aloud to strip away some of its power. Readers can also cultivate a clearer sense of perspective by distinguishing their “observing self” from thoughts themselves (“you can let thoughts and feelings be present and run through you, but you don’t need to get caught up in the battle”). Akbar draws usefully on her clinical experience, cogently outlines lessons without dumbing them down, and keeps her tone light and conversational. Those seeking friendly counsel on how to better manage their stress need look no further. (Aug.)