Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids

Clinical psychologist Elkins’s insightful debut examines anxiety in parent-child dynamics. Many well-meaning parents, she argues, try to protect their kids from anxiety but, in doing so, block them from learning how to cope with the emotion. Elkins encourages parents to validate the feeling of anxiety rather than attempting to suppress or solve it. She explains that Western parenting culture often encourages intensive parenting that in turn exacerbates anxiety. In one example, she recalls working with a 16-year-old whose parents tried to shield him from uncomfortable situations, not realizing their overinvolvement was partly responsible for his worry he wouldn’t be able to function alone in a crisis. Instead of being overprotective, Elkins recommends parents cultivate psychological flexibility in their children, providing them with tools to make decisions that feel right to them when faced with unexpected situations. To treat severe anxiety, Elkins suggests treatments such as exposure therapy (for example, having kids with social anxiety practice going into stores and interacting with cashiers), and reducing dependence on “safety behaviors” (such as only socializing at parties with alcohol). Throughout, Elkins provides accessible tools to reduce anxiety in both children and parents and backs up her clinical experience with current research. The result is a comprehensive road map for managing anxiety that will enlighten and empower. (Jan.)