cover image Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

Chelsea Handler. Simon Spotlight Entertainment, $24.95 (264pp) ISBN 978-1-4169-5412-5

At the age of nine, comedian Handler (host of her own cable talk show, Chelsea Lately) was already making up stories about all-night contract negations with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell to get out of English assignments-but then, what would one expect from a girl told by her parents, a week before her fourth birthday, to plan her own party? This funny, whip-smart memoir, the follow-up her sex-centric essay collection My Horizontal Life, chronicles Handler's ridiculous, gamboling life thus far, from her elementary school days-hounded by older girls for being less than wealthy, stuck at 12 babysitting an unruly 14-year-old with a wicked sugar addiction-to her sexually hyperactive, cocktail-swilling grown-up years. Handler's hard-headed sense of humor and maniacal wit get her through a number of difficult situations, including incarceration for a DUI, threatening to beat up a snotty teenager, and facing a breakup with one man while hiding another under her bed. But Handler also demonstrates an attuned sense of self and a keen eye for those around her that occasionally elevate her musings from mere hilarity to genuine poignancy-but not to worry, the only tears readers will shed are from laughter.