The Myth of the Perfect Mom

“The perfect mom doesn’t exist,” writes therapist Schlozman in this sympathetic debut guide to navigating the myths that trap new mothers in an endless cycle of striving and worry. Schlozman traces the pressure to be perfect from the “cult of domesticity” in the 19th century, an ideology that emphasized docility and selflessness, to today’s “postpartum-bounce-back culture,” in which women are expected to look thin and beautiful shortly after giving birth. While modern mothers often receive more encouragement to prioritize mental health and self-care than those in the past, many women still feel pressure to have ideal childbirths and breastfeeding experiences, leading to a sense of failure when things don’t go as planned. Schlozman avoids one-size-fits-all advice, instead encouraging new moms to develop the self-confidence needed to trust themselves. She urges new mothers to determine their own self-worth, set realistic expectations by decentering housework during the postpartum period, and clearly communicate their needs to family and friends (“Can you hold the baby while I nap?” can be more effective than a blanket statement like “I’m exhausted”). She pairs well-balanced social critiques with practical advice, including a comprehensive postpartum care plan worksheet that encourages readers to write down how they will prioritize physical and emotional recovery, social time, and self-care. New mothers will find comfort and relief. (Apr.)