cover image Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why

Essential Manners for Men: What to Do, When to Do It, and Why

Peter Post. William Morrow & Company, $21.95 (224pp) ISBN 978-0-06-053980-1

A man usually seeks etiquette tips from three types of people: a sharp woman he admires, a Jeeves, or a stylish metrosexual. In Post, great-grandson to the diamond-tongued Emily Post, he will find a mild-mannered golf companion. In his preface, Post explains that since most men don't want a dry reference book on manners, he set out write a""conversational"" book""that men can read right through, from cover to cover."" Nonetheless, most readers may still prefer to skim this guide's many subheadings, bullet points and sidebars and head straight to what interests. Post's book is studded with anecdotes taken from a nostalgic domestic universe, where men""wander into the kitchen and pull out all the fixings for a delectable Dagwood sandwich,"" which Post narrates in the conjugal we--e.g.""over the past few years we've helped organize several monster clambakes on Martha's Vineyard."" In this world, women appear as watchdogs and oracles, repeatedly quoted as the ultimate authorities on male behavior. Indeed, Post's etiquette guide becomes a dating guide midway through, and the important""Social Life"" section crescendos with a chapter on weddings. He is conservative on technology: in his view,""we have become slaves to the phone"" and emails should be considered public documents, without exception. But Post is no enemy of progress: in another section, he offers tips for making effective PowerPoint presentations. For the modern bachelor who wants to give a dinner party, the author provides his personal""Keep It Simple Stupid"" entertaining guide, including his favorite recipe (for chicken tarragon), but skips precise rules about how to set a table. Overall, Post appears to have exchanged the mystique of manners for business-casual rules of thumb. Many men might welcome this exchange, and the book should do well among readers who enjoyed Post's The Etiquette Advantage in Business (1999).