The Likeability Trap: How to Break Free and Succeed as You Are

Menendez, a journalist and the cohost of PBS’s Amanpour and Company, issues a friend-to-friend wake-up call for pathological approval seekers. A recovering people-pleaser who cared far too much about what people thought of her—and knew it was holding her back—Menendez argues that too many women are too invested in their own likability. Meanwhile, women who are “brazenly themselves” saw the detriment to their own careers. So what’s a working woman to do? Learn to navigate, Menendez recommends, walking readers through challenges like the quandary of being seen as either likable but not ambitious, or ambitious but not likable. This nebulous quality, she notes, has historically played a pernicious role as a socially acceptable way of sugarcoating bias. Menendez asserts that women are increasingly angry about encountering such bias, and she has suggestions about what they—and their organizations—can do in response. The description of the problem is perfect; some of the ideas for addressing it, less so—notably, an emphasis on finding “sponsors” (not mentors) to promote one’s work, which some readers might find disempowering. But the chatty, friendly, heart-to-heart tone will be a comfort and an encouragement to women hampered by their desire to be both liked and successful. Agent: Ryan D. Harbage, Fischer-Harbage Agency. (Nov.)