The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever

Do you feel guilty when your child demands that you launder his soccer uniform immediately? Does an out-of-town friend suddenly want you to clear your calendar for an unexpected visit? In this handy manual, social psychologist Newman (Parenting an Only Child ) writes with humor but a no-nonsense tone, offering 250 short, dramatic scenes that demonstrate workable techniques for helping you just say no. Newman contends that for many people, saying yes to whatever is asked of them is an unhealthy pattern driven by a need for approval, love or admiration, rather than a desire to help. To those who make a habit of accommodating others against their better judgment, the author suggests making a weekly list of yeses, noting if your time is well managed, learning to prioritize and set limits and giving up the need to be in control. Newman outlines familiar examples of demands made by friends, family and co-workers, and even forceful strangers such as telemarketers (just refuse and hang up). Although Newman doesn't write specifically for women, most of her illustrations present wives, mothers and workers as typical of today's overwhelmed yes women. Agent, Carol Mann. (Jan.)