Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters

Amid a landslide of literature examining the culture of the needlessly overworked, overstressed, and overwhelmingly busy mom, Komisar makes a different claim here: mothers aren’t doing enough for their children. Drawing from her practice as a psychoanalyst in New York City, Komisar makes the case that the mother is primarily and uniquely responsible for a baby’s development, and a lack of the mother’s responsive, nurturing presence in the early years can contribute strongly to all manner of behavioral and developmental problems. Komisar offers sound, warm guidance for baby interaction in an attempt to draw ambivalent mothers back into the home and gives several examples from her practice in which increased maternal involvement solved behavioral problems. Though she acknowledges the role of fathers and the burden on single mothers, Komisar regretfully concludes that children raised without the frequent presence of a mother are likely to grow up with serious problems. Despite Komisar’s well-intentioned tone, her perspective is ultimately dispiriting, since there is little indication that the near future will bring about the legislation for paid leave that would help all families to afford her ideal. Agent: Jane von Mehren, Zachary Shuster Harmsworth. (Apr.)