Practicing Forgiveness: A Path Toward Healing

This enlightening resource from Balkin (Counseling Research), professor of counselor education at the University of Mississippi, presents a model of forgiveness. Balkin opens with the story of Sheila, an adolescent who, after coming forward about years of abuse by her father, is told, “You know as a Christian you have to forgive him.” The author questions this troubling response: Is forgiveness a moral imperative? How is it influenced by religion and culture? Balkin distinguishes between two valid forms of forgiveness: interpersonal forgiveness, which works toward healing the breach in a relationship, and intrapersonal forgiveness, which aims to “relinquish feelings of ill-will” but not to create reconciliation. Following from this distinction, the book’s remainder covers the Forgiveness Reconciliation Model—a process by which a person explores their feelings about the situation and determines which type of forgiveness is correct before moving toward emotional and relational resolution. For instance, Sheila (who must undergo an internal, intrapersonal forgiveness toward her father) works through interpersonal forgiveness with other members of her family following Balkin’s steps of collaborative exploration, reconciliation, remorse and commitments to change, and, eventually, forgiveness. Balkin’s approach is refreshingly nonjudgmental; he emphasizes that each situation has many different factors, and refuses to endorse a one-size-fits-all resolution. At the same time, the descriptive rather than prescriptive approach means this should not be mistaken for a how-to guide to forgiveness. This technical work offers a carefully considered road map of forgiveness that is ideal for counselors and academics working in therapeutic research. (Nov.)