The Intentional Family: How to Build Family Ties in Our Modern World

The Intentional Family, explains Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota, ""is one whose members create a working plan for maintaining and building family ties, and then implement the plan as best they can."" He suggests that family rituals are an integral means by which family members can promote and sustain these ties. For an event to be a ritual, as opposed to a habit, it must give its participants four things: predictability, connection, identity and a forum to promote the family's values. Mealtimes and vacations offer opportunity for rituals that involve every member of a family. Also important are bonds established between individuals: husband and wife can cultivate their own ""couple"" rituals; and each parent can formulate rituals with each child as a way to strengthen individual ties. Finally, the family as a whole can connect with their community through such activities as churchgoing or volunteer work. Doherty's advice is particularly sensitive to the needs of the single-parent household and those that include stepparents and stepchildren. Though the text is fairly dry, it is enlivened by examples of how families have developed and their own rituals. (June)