Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women

Manhattan-based psychoanalyst McFadden had been listening to women's narratives in her practice for 25 years; in 2005 she decided to conduct an online survey called Women's Realities, having observed that many women feel alone in their emotional struggles or ashamed of their sexual histories and desires. Knowing that others are going through similar experiences, the author hypothesized, would be healing. Hundreds of women from all walks of life, of various ethnicities and ages, participated by anonymously sharing their stories with "raw honesty." This text represents a portion of McFadden's extensive findings, focusing in depth on three of the survey's most popular topics: menstruation, women's relationships with their mothers, and masturbation (she explains that current publishing trends prevented her from examining the entire online survey in book form). McFadden's mission is not only to give women an anonymous forum, but also to encourage women to become more candid in their discussions about such issues with their own daughters. The text not only validates women's shared experiences but also gives mothers practical suggestions for shepherding their daughters to womanhood. Emphasizing a mother's power to enhance or harm a girl's sense of identity and attitude toward sex, McFadden warns against outsourcing sexual education: music videos, ads, books, or the school nurse aren't a substitute for an open mother/daughter relationship. Despite the rather ambiguous title, this is a fascinating and empowering text for women of all ages. (May)