cover image BEST FRIENDS, WORST ENEMIES: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

BEST FRIENDS, WORST ENEMIES: Understanding the Social Lives of Children

Michael Thompson, Catherine O'Neill Grace, , with Lawrence J. Cohen. . Ballantine, $24.95 (320pp) ISBN 978-0-345-43809-6

Not since Dr. Spock or Penelope Leach has there been such a sensitive and practical guide to raising healthy children—and this one doesn't end at potty training. Child therapists Thompson (coauthor of bestseller Raising Cain) and Cohen (Playful Parenting) have teamed up with Washington Post columnist and children's writer Grace (all three are parents) to describe the social lives of kids and the appropriate roles of parents, teachers and school administrators. They explore the stages of children's development, from parent-bonded to quasi-asocial toddler, the learning-the-rules phase in elementary school and adolescent and romantic bonding. Each phase may bring some negative experiences—including some outright cruelty—that can be hard on both parents and children, but sometimes necessary for learning about the world. They advise parents to think of themselves as "lifeguards" at the pool, aware of what's going on with their kids, but only intervening in the rare crisis. The book wraps up on a practical note, with chapters on how schools can be proactive and how parents can be most useful. Their advice? Don't worry so much, set a good example, keep perspective and relax—most kids turn out okay. Thompson and Grace's breezy "we've all been there" anecdotal style will bring great comfort to any parents who're worried about their kid's social life—in other words, any parent. (Sept.)

Forecast:The planned 12-city author tour and print advertising in the New York Times and USA Today will yield big sales, supported by the strength of Thompson's name and Grace's media connections.