The Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friendships

Essayist and former lawyer Valen contemplates the "mean girl" phenomenon of competition, jealousy, and bullying from the playground through the mommy wars ("why, oh why, can't we simply respect one another's assorted mothering choices?"), damaging women who grew up expecting females to bond. Expanded from her controversial 2007 New York Times piece on how sisterhood failed her after a frat party rape, Valen, from her perspectives both as a victim and a guilty party, considers why so many American girls and women persist in breaking one another down, especially in an era of increasing egalitarianism. Citing anecdotal evidence drawn from surveys and experts, Valen posits that socially burned women practice "arm's-length intimacy," migrate to smaller social groups, or select men as confidants. Throughout, Valen acknowledges her shortcomings both as expert and as a woman: her own battle-scarred self-esteem remains evident as she makes her sincerest plea for peace and forgiveness within the sex; as the mother of three daughters, she'd like her girls to grow up in a more female-friendly world. (Oct.)