Beard in a Box

Beards have long fascinated kids, and adults are clearly fans of them, too, given the scrupulously groomed facial hair trends of recent years. Wearing a lab coat and safety goggles, a gap-toothed boy hypothesizes that the source of his father’s many skills is, in fact, his beard. Seeking the same powers, he shaves patches of the cat’s fur and glues them to his face, and he also experiments with chocolate syrup and markers. An infomercial presents a better solution: Beard in a Box. After applying “beard seeds” to his face and watering them (in a scene with definite echoes of the Chia Pet era), the boy reads the fine print: “Repeat steps 1–4 for 10–15 years.” When his father shaves his beard, the boy learns that being “awesome” might not have anything to do with a beard. Cotter pokes fun at the appeal of too-good-to-be-true products (“Who would have thought SCAM-O would be a dishonest company?” the boy rages), but an earnest message about quality one-on-one time can be found under the shaggy depths of Cotter’s beard-based humor. Ages 4–8. Agent: Brianne Johnson, Writers House. (Apr.)