A Dude’s Guide to Baby Size: What to Expect and How to Prep, for Dads-to-Be

Comedian Calmus brings his chuckle-worthy brand of “just one dude talking to another dude” parenting advice to the page in this heartfelt guide to how husbands can help their wives navigate pregnancy. Eschewing the traditional week-by-week comparison of fetal development sizes to produce, Calmus converts the metrics to masculine-coded objects such as a lug nut for week 10 or a circular saw for week 31. He uses those objects to draw lessons on aspects of parenting just strained enough to be funny. Week 23’s “Bose Noise Canceling Headphones” size leads to guidance on understanding different types of infant cries (including hangry, tired, and scared), for example, and week 26’s “Baseball glove” offers a list of ways to play with babies (“Be an idiot” chief among them). Some of his discussions on how to treat one’s pregnant wife are eye-roll-inducing (as with a list of “things not to say to your pregnant wife,” including “I don’t think you should eat carbs right now” and “Huh, your hips look different. Do you think they’ll go back?”), but for the most part, Calmus keeps things fun and empathetic. New fathers fine with a “Dude Dad” approach will find this a welcome collection of information and laughs. (May)