Intimate Play

In this psychoanalytically based guide to preserving romance in marriage, Betcher, a family and marital psychotherapist in Boston, affirms that healthy playfulness, as opposed to manipulative ""game-playing,'' not only keeps feelings fresh and stimulates creative sex, but can help to weather crises with ``playful strategies.'' Citing case histories, he traces the role of play from courtship through marriage, parenting and retirement in helping to resolve character differences and problems. He illustrates how spontaneous play, surprises, private language, jokes, nicknames and shared fantasies can encourage acceptance of each other's foibles, and how the playful approach, properly timed, will often avoid or turn an argument into a rational discussion. While play cannot be taught, Betcher indicates the type of exercises and conditions conducive to its occurrence. Even older couples, he suggests, may find that a little playful courtship and shared activities may help to renew their romantic feelings. 30,000 first printing; first serial to Glamour; BOMC alternate; author tour. (February 14)