A Boy Named Phyllis: 9a Suburban Memoir

Peppered with one-liners and pop-cultural references ranging from a mention of the TV series H.R. Pufnstuf to one of the film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, DeCaro's memoir of growing up gay in an Italian Catholic family in Little Falls, N.J., sweetly and vividly recalls the bonds and breaches of parent-child relationships, a theme that provides the backdrop to his anecdotal chronicle of childhood tormentors and of recognizing, accepting and eventually celebrating his difference. Ostracized by classmates who knew he was gay before he did (""I'd always put the `boy' in `Flamboyant'"") and an enigma to his loving if somewhat inept parents, a young DeCaro finds hope in the extravagance of role models Elton John and Paul Lynde and ensuing validation in his high-school theater department. All this is revealed in ironic turns of phrase, deadpan wit and pinpoint characterization, sparing not his mother: a ""pear shaped bundle of Aqua Net""; his father: ""a big lug who hated only two things in the whole world: dogs sniffing his crotch, and stepping in chewing gum""; his live-in grandma: ""With upper arms that hung like parade-float bunting, the constitution of a battleship, and the salty vocabulary of a sailor on shore leave""; and not, least of all, himself. Growing up gay in the suburbs was a trial for DeCaro, a contributing editor to Martha Stewart Living, yet he renders the experience with ease and humor in this laudable memoir. Author tour. (June)