cover image My Mama's Waltz: A Book for Daughters of Alcholic Mothers

My Mama's Waltz: A Book for Daughters of Alcholic Mothers

Eleanor Agnew. Pocket Books, $24 (336pp) ISBN 978-0-671-01385-1

Academics Agnew (English, Georgia Southern) and Robideaux (writing, Univ. of Missouri) are also offspring of alcoholic mothers. They recount stories of their childhoods as well as the experiences of some 100 women they interviewed for their book. Their point of departure is the persistent view that alcoholism in women is more shameful than in men because it suggests weakness, inferiority and promiscuity. However debatable that contention, the authors argue convincingly that a drunken mother is more hurtful to a daughter than to a son, whose prescribed social role is to seek independence, whereas it's traditionally anticipated that a daughter will bond with her mother and use her as a role model. Thus a mother who abuses her daughter physically or verbally leaves unhealed wounds. The authors claim that repercussions of the abuse poison the daughter's relations with both men and women, although, they report, most resolve that their children will be spared the suffering they endured. Agnew and Robideaux estimate that at least four million women in America are afflicted by this legacy. These women should draw consolation from these harrowing accounts, if only to realize that their upbringing was not unique. (Apr.)